Welcome?/ She’s GONE

I finally did it, got my own blog I mean. No more using my myspace for my writing and having to deal with the shallowness of my comments.

For y’all that don’t know me, here’s some back ground and a little bit of what I wrote on the bit where I was to explain myself: I am a single mother of two boys who lives with her mother till she completes her college degree. I had my children way to early, but I love them more than life itself. This blog is mainly to deal with the inner struggles I have as well as the frustrations I have with my existence- but I post funny things too, you never know!!!

Today, my mother left for Alaska for two weeks- far from our warm southern climate for sure- leaving me to my own devices with my pell grant check and child support WWWHHOOO HHOOOO!!

Seriously though, I did get a few things I had been longing for (ipod and boots) and will get a few more (lotions, mani/pedis) but what is going to be nice, I think, is not having her lording over me for a couple weeks. I have come to despise her presence the past month or so. So critical of everything I do. So undermining, so manipulative. I hurts to know I can’t trust her, butI feel secure somehow in that. It’s… comfortable.

Either way, I have several things I plan on doing without her bad influences. Diet: She has been the main person saying “no dessert? what?” or “how about pizza?” Beauty:   I have been denied many of the things that help a girl out in just feeling beautiful- which is important for the self esteem. I get things for everyone else, while I go without. I am no maytr. I want my nails painted, massage, and other things- so I shall get them!!! Discipline: Undermining my discipline is the worst thing she does in my opinion. I assign a consequence, she takes it back. I say no, she says yes. My older son has learned that she can be swayed basically because in her opionion “he would lead a DOGS life if I weren’t here!!!” POPPYCOCK! The boy needs to be held accountable and he needs to learn. I don’t spank him or make him do something crazy- I give him water instead of milk, take away dessert or watching movies. BUT NO. She believes this is his right. But these two weeks I will use to hopefully let him know I am serious. Exercise: I will go….everyday. Studying: I will do it… everyday. Cleaning: you betcha!

This will be a freeing experience hopefully… i hope to write a little bit everyday since it gets my thoughts out.

For now- tah tah

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