Yesterday, while in Krum TX at a family deal, I looked and saw pairs- everyone has a significant other, except me. I have been thinking of myself as a no committal type for quite a while and am thinking of possibly changing that. Here’s the thing- I did what I’m doing now and was like 70% happy, then I switched to relationship mode and was miserable for an entire summer i could have been having fun! What a moron! All these day dreams of looking into someones eyes and holding hands, PFT! What crap!
Then why was yesterday so sad? I looked around and saw that everyone else could find it. Everyone was in pairs. So am I not the relationship type???? On most levels I fail to commit. I haven’t been faithful in the majority of my relationships- but in my longest (3-4 years) I remained COMPLETELY faithful. So I know I CAN do it, I just DON’T.
Who knows, but until I feel like being fully IN with someone, I’m not gonna. I think the idea of being tied to one person is still too scary for me due largely in part to my bad marriage. (i know excuses,excuses)