While I have been susceptible to giving in to the guilt trip tactic, I don’t seem particularly disposed to using it myself. I always ponder why I don’t feel like the world OWES me anything, and how I can raise my kids to feel the same. In this day and age of walking islands of entitlement, it’s important to me at least to raise adults that when life hands them lemons they don’t promptly want to go mow down everyone with a chainsaw. When I was a kid, it was beat into me that I was given things out of the kindness of others hearts and that somethings were just not mine, nor would they ever be. The change in parenting style where everything is shared (while, I might add the parents rally against the government becoming too socialist) and everyone gets a vote is spoiling the major life lesson of life isn’t fair. You don’t always get what you want. You won’t like it. Things won’t always go your way and people will not always be nice to you about it. Do you need therapy to get over it? Probably not. Are you different? We all are. Get used to it. When I was a kid there were special candies. Candies that were Mom’s and Mom’s ALONE. Did we ask for some? Sure. She told us those were hers and no one could have any and that was that. When faced with something similar I’ve been told it wasn’t FAIR; I should share everything I have with my children. What does this teach them about personal boundaries?
I think the strength to triumph over adversity comes from not getting caught up in the “it’s not fair” and moving into the “what are you going to do now”
Guilt trips seem to work so well on me because I don’t feel like anyone owed me anything so when people have done things for me I consider it a debt to be repaid, regardless of whether the person feels that way or not. I don’t deliver guilt trips very well since I always give only what I’m willing to never get back.
Humanity could use more of that: give more, expect less back…. it seems to make me pretty happy anyhow…